18 yrs + a decade
I recently turned 18… Okay 18 + 10 years. When I was younger I looked forward to turning 18 like it was just the perfect age to be in. Since then, I’ve dreaded growing older. Every year more responsibilities came and I’d find myself left with nothing else to do but face the realities of life and sacrifice most of the important things I used to dream of as a kid.
Just a week before my birthday, I had my old debut VHS videos converted to DVD. On the positive side, it was great to see how my friends and I looked back then. It was wonderful to have captured memories of people from the past and document that one special moment in my life. And most especially, it was a valuable proof to my Baby Joe that 10 years ago, I was indeed as affected by him as I still am crazy about him today.
On the down side, I couldn’t help but feel all sentimental. Seeing old friends in the video who I haven’t seen in ages… Watching the footage of me dancing with Lolo and with Noel, both of whom have passed away… Remembering how I was so into my dancing and theater, and never imagined then that I would ever be anything else but a performer… Things have changed. Life has changed.
I watched the videos twice in a row and I cried both times. I feel like a different person now. And yet, deep inside, the same passions, dreams, and loves still reside. Maybe they don’t have to be completely gone. Perhaps this is what it means to grow up – to know and hold on to what is precious to us, while moving forward and allowing our passions, dreams, and loves to take on new forms without losing their spirit in our hearts.
This is the greatest challenge though of aging and staying happy. I don’t even know what to do and where to start.
Just a week before my birthday, I had my old debut VHS videos converted to DVD. On the positive side, it was great to see how my friends and I looked back then. It was wonderful to have captured memories of people from the past and document that one special moment in my life. And most especially, it was a valuable proof to my Baby Joe that 10 years ago, I was indeed as affected by him as I still am crazy about him today.
On the down side, I couldn’t help but feel all sentimental. Seeing old friends in the video who I haven’t seen in ages… Watching the footage of me dancing with Lolo and with Noel, both of whom have passed away… Remembering how I was so into my dancing and theater, and never imagined then that I would ever be anything else but a performer… Things have changed. Life has changed.
I watched the videos twice in a row and I cried both times. I feel like a different person now. And yet, deep inside, the same passions, dreams, and loves still reside. Maybe they don’t have to be completely gone. Perhaps this is what it means to grow up – to know and hold on to what is precious to us, while moving forward and allowing our passions, dreams, and loves to take on new forms without losing their spirit in our hearts.
This is the greatest challenge though of aging and staying happy. I don’t even know what to do and where to start.
posted by everythingyellow at 12:51 PM
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